SPAYED AT 13 – SHAME ON US!!

(Originally Posted 10/22/2007)

Just because kids are in heat in those pubescent years of middle school doesn’t mean we should treat them like dogs in heat. Parents can be voices of reason and wisdom for their children and they will listen. But, thinking people with common sense no longer have clout in our communities, schools, or with their own children. Parents would rather destroy their children than put time in with their kids and put their foot down. Parents condone destructive behavior so long as the child insists on doing it anyway. Nowhere is this made clearer than in Portland, Maine where their school committee has voted 7 to 2 in favor of handing out birth control to their 13 year old middle school girls and boys. (NY Times Article)

One would think parental backlash would be titanic. One would be mistaken. “It’s a great idea,” says one mother. “Someone is finally advocating for these students to take care of themselves.” Since when is 13 and having sex on birth control being taken care of? It is our responsibility as parents to take care of our children. Children of that age are prone to unsound decisions. They lack the wisdom of experience. That’s why they have us, parents.

Would we pack a loaded gun in their backpacks for them to take care of themselves? How about prescription drugs so that they can medicate themselves? NO. This would be outrageous. And so too is the idea that kids at 12 and 13 years old can take care of themselves sexually simply because of contraceptives.

And, how can we be surprised that they want to have sex. Parents today allow them to be surrounded by sex everywhere. They are Juicied up in sexually suggestive clothing, allowed to zombie out in front of My Space where they chat about who knows what with whomever. We give our thirteen year olds credit cards, cell phones, no curfews, and now birth control and say, “viola, I’m a good parent; now go and take care of yourself.”

Like the parents who feel empowered by supervising underage drinking in their homes – discerning that kids will drink anyway - these sex supportive parents feel a false sense of protection by handing out contraception – since they will have sex anyway. (Some of these kids in middle school can’t even put their shoes on the right foot and we are supposed to believe that they can responsibly take contraception.)

Well, I am not relinquishing my parental control and authority without a fight and I urge you to do the same. I will say to my teen, “Go ahead a try to drink anyway. I’ll catch you, and make your life a living nightmare.” Just try and have sex without me catching you. And, if I find out about it, I’ll be your shadow.” “Why?” “Because I love you; I am here to protect you. I am here to make sure you know who you are, the great things you are capable of becoming. I am here to remind you of your greatness, your potential, your light. Your virginity is under my lock and key because even though you don’t know it right now, your body and soul are connected to your idea of yourself. Your self-worth is at stake. And one day you will want to share that special part of yourself with someone who is worth it. You will want it to be special because you are special. Your body is precious and you are too good to lay under some jerk behind a school gym for 3 minutes and be a piece of meat.” And, if some school board doesn’t believe that you are better than a condom or an oral contraceptive then that school doesn’t deserve you.” That is a child who is being taken care of.